"This is pure speculation, but I’m guessing that this morning you rolled out of bed, walked to your bathroom, gazed into your mirror with groggy eyes, and asked yourself, 'Who could ever love me?'"

I know exactly how that feels because believe it or not, I was once in your shoes. Not too long ago I had no direction in life and everything about me was so average that I was sure I would never be accepted. “Who wants to associate themselves with a guy who brings nothing to the table?” I used to ask myself while listening to K-Ci & Jojo songs and drinking 40s of Colt 45 alone in the dark. For so long, the only answer to this question was “nobody.” But everything changed when I founded Club Trillion.

What is Club Trillion, you ask? Well, in short, Club Trillion is a place where mediocrity is celebrated. It’s a club where all of us benchwarmers don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not. We know we’ll never be superstars, but we’re fine with that because it’s more fun being a benchwarmer anyway. With Club Trillion, I finally had a place where I could be myself and not feel ashamed. I have no doubt in my mind that it can do the same for you. So if you’re an average person living an average life just like me and so many others, let go of all of your guilt and join Club Trillion. We don’t discriminate and welcome with open arms anybody who wants to become a member.

Except for Evan “The Villain” Turner, of course."

-Mark Titus